|
Post by littlewing on Mar 15, 2012 8:00:55 GMT -5
Pony's name: Littlewing Pony's age: young filly Type of pony or animal: Pegasus pony Pony's cutie mark and special talent: a cloud and paint brush, her special skill is coloriing the clouds. Employment: weather department Current city: Cloudsdale
Appearance: loshiofthewind.deviantart.com/#/d4snn5x
Littlewing is a special pony, partly due to her very poor eyesight and her inability to fly well. Her wings are smaller then other Pegases her age and she can barely hover, so to get from cloud to cloud to paint them. She hops to each on. Doing so has stained her hooves a rainbow color from all the paint.
-human form-
Personality Littlewing is a very shy and quiet girl who doesnt understand how to make friends. She is a very sweet girl once you get to know her. But most people dont get that close, as she scares them away with her attitude. (which makes her seem very unsocial) She scares easily and is very clumsy when it comes to flying and moving in general. . When shes happy she hops on every cloud she can find, always causing miscife by accident.
When shes with her friends shes very kind and never tries to hurt anyones feelings. She loves all her friends like family and will do what ever it takes to make them happy. She once tried to paint the sky her friends favorite colors but it ended up making rainbow rain, which stained every ponies pelt for a week. She doesnt ever mean to cause problems but always seems too. Due to her fear of everything she comes off as anti social. Its the fact that she is so afraid of things that keeps her from making friends, as shes to afraid to even try ti make friends
Fears: little wing fears flying. But not heights. As shes a great cloud hopper. But non the less she refuses to fly if she does not have too. She also fears most bugs and is terrified of the everfree forest. She also fears large animals bigger then a rabbit. She fears large bodies of water and dragons, no matter how small. She fears everything thats eve slightly scary looking.
Strengths: shes a loyal friend and never leaves her friends to do something themselves if they ask for help. She may seem like a coward, but when pushed to do something she does it with out haste. She is also sensitive to when others need help, usually knowing right when they need help and rushing to help them.
So in summery, little wing is afraid of many things, but will never back down if a friend needs her. She is a kind hearted person. She is a easy to spook kind of person and is always ready to help a friend
Background Littlewing was born to a unknown pony father and mother, as soon after her birth they disapeared, due to being adventurer ponies, they didn't slow down at all. And left their daughter to be raised by a family friend.She grew up in a small house having been adopted by a nice family called the Manfrieds. whos house was near the edge of everfree forest. This is where she grew up. after a terrible thunderstorm her adopted mother, named Cloudhooves, showed her how since she was a pegasus, she could fly up and get all the color from the cloud turning it nice and bright white again. This so intrigued Littlewing that she spent a week trying to find a low enough cloud to hop on with her paint set so that she could color the clouds. As she hopped from cloud to cloud, she painted each cloud a different color then what it should be, till the sky was filled with a rainbow of cloud colors.
It was also the time of week when the rain comes in a huuuuuuge storm. Once he rain hit, all the super colorful clouds released super colorful paint like rain which stained every ponies coat for a week. After that she soon found out she had discovered her cutie mark when she got back to the ground and everyone scoulded her, but she was so happy she had found her cutie mark before anyone else in her age group that she didnt even hear them complaining to her. After that she was invited to be a part of the weather factory when she was older. (and out of school witch has not happened yet.) A few years after this she started having trouble in school and eventually had to devote much of her time to her schooling, but after a few weeks she was back on track. She had so far been unable to make friend, because they were so mad that she didn't even try to find her cutiemark. She was seen as a special case by most ponys, as she found her talent by total accident while causing the week of rainbow pelts to occur. She still colors the skys, but as a hobby and she never does it when a big rain is coming. Anything else you'd like to add: is a horrible flyer ^^;
• • •
Your name: (what you prefer to go by as a member here!) Your age: 17 Roleplaying experience: many many years. At least seven How you found us: Bon Voyage Other characters: none
Roleplaying sample:
|
|
|
Post by γρετα ღ on Mar 15, 2012 13:32:32 GMT -5
Hi! :]
Before we look at this app, I just wanted to point out some technical errors that need your attention. Please remove the asterisks from the justify codes and make sure that you fill out every field in the application. In regards to your images, there needs to be an actual image at the top, maximum width of 383. You do not need the image twice.
Once you fix that up, we'll be glad to take a look!
|
|
|
Post by littlewing on Mar 15, 2012 18:38:14 GMT -5
fixed hopefully....maybe. ^^ be gentle
|
|
|
Post by γρετα ღ on Mar 15, 2012 18:45:15 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by littlewing on Mar 15, 2012 20:38:36 GMT -5
fixed
|
|
|
Post by γρετα ღ on Mar 15, 2012 21:37:14 GMT -5
The img code is only going to work if the file IS an image...which that is not, it is a link. Why don't you save it and upload it to a server, such as tinypic or photobucket? :]
Or, if that's your deviantart account: right click > copy image location > paste this link into [**img]LINK[/**img], obviously sans asterisks.
|
|
|
Post by littlewing on Mar 15, 2012 23:01:42 GMT -5
Fixed with Greta's help! ^^
|
|
|
Post by ♥ ριxιε on Mar 16, 2012 1:08:56 GMT -5
Hi Littlewing! :]
Before I start, I just want to say that I really like the idea of your pony! Her cloud coloring is very cute and the fact that her wings are smaller than usual makes for an interesting story. However, I'm not quite sure that you tackled it in the best manner.
I noticed a lot of inconsistency in your app. For example, you say that she is cocky and arrogant, but in the very next sentence you go on to say that she is shy and quiet. Those are kind of all opposites of one another; she can't really be both at once? You seem to state things in her personality but then quickly contradict them with other things, so I don't really know who this pony is at all. How is she brave and mischievous, yet afraid of everything? How is she sweet and loving and yet she "spreads pain around" ? I think you need to develop her characteristics a bit more as right now she seems to be too many different personalities at once and none of them really make sense or fit together to form into a full entire character. xD
In your background, you say she was orphaned, but you don't explain this. Ponies don't just disappear; there needs to be a clear reasoning behind this occurrence if you're going to do something as dramatic as making her orphaned. Who are these ponies who randomly adopted her and why did they get to do so? Were they related to her? Did they just pick her up off the ground and say oh hello look at that a lost filly, I'll just take you home?
If she's only a young school-aged filly, it's extremely unlikely that she would be old enough to get a job in the weather factory, if that's what you're talking about when you say "weather department." Although I was confused about that, because you later go on to say that she joined the "weather squad" which isn't really a thing that exists? Also, i'm not sure how coloring the clouds would be something that a pony would be hired for as an actual job; it's not really something that's necessary or important to the functioning of the weather. It's okay if it's a hobby or something she likes to cause mischief with, but I really don't think that it would be a legitimate job, especially, again, since she's so young.
Finally, I'm confused about her name? I've seen it written about three different ways in your app. Is it Little Wing, littleWing, Littlewing, or what? Either way, you should make sure to capitalize it every time, since it is a name, after all.
I really think you need to rework your application and develop her more, but once you do I think that she has the potential to be a really cute and interesting character! keep at it, and make sure to bump when you've made these changes! :]
|
|
|
Post by littlewing on Mar 16, 2012 14:08:18 GMT -5
fixed ^^
|
|
|
Post by ♥ ριxιε on Mar 16, 2012 14:27:17 GMT -5
Hi! The personality looks 100 times better, thanks for fixing that!
Unfortunately, we still need you to explain her parents' disappearance in the history section. That isn't something that can be explained in a plot since it's something so vital to the character's life, and also, we have to make sure that it is approved. Anything involving the Elements of Harmony is not likely to be accepted, because the Elements are not entirely physical things anymore; they have been brought to life and manifested within the Mane 6 Ponies, so it's not really something that is a plot anymore. Sorry! It might be easier to just come up with something a bit more plausible. :]
Also, you didn't address or fix my question about the name, so I'll repeat it here:
Thanks!
|
|
|
Post by littlewing on Mar 16, 2012 16:57:25 GMT -5
BUMP!
|
|
|
Post by γρετα ღ on Mar 16, 2012 20:58:41 GMT -5
Hi! This is looking way better, but I don't think we're quite on the same page with the history yet. For one, it's probably just not a good idea to say that her parents were brainwashed by some evil guy. If you want her to be an orphan, just find a normal way to kill them off or say they left or went on a voyage and didn't want to take her or something.
So, with this, are you saying that, when older, she WILL work there or is she already older? Whatever the case, she can't have a job as long as she is in school and only a young filly. That will have to wait.
Other than that, the last two paragraphs are written really confusingly. You seem to be mixing up words and I had to read it about three times to actually understand what was being said. If you could just proofread a few times, that would help a lot. :]
|
|
|
Post by littlewing on Mar 17, 2012 0:29:25 GMT -5
Hopefully I did it right ^^
|
|
|
Post by γρετα ღ on Mar 17, 2012 0:41:39 GMT -5
|
|